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An excerpt from A SWARM OF BEES
Jack was always going to do the jobs around the house
That were requested regularly by Sue, his patient spouse;
But, somehow, things were rarely done, for Jack preferred instead
To ask a mate or two to share some drinks down in his shed.
As Sue was working in the house one fine November day,
A largish swarm of bees arrived, and seemed content to stay
Within the wall that stood between the kitchen and verandah:
Since Jack was slow in tackling them, it raised his spouse's dander!
For several weeks the bees remained, and really were a pest,
But long-wed Jack was expert at ignoring Sue's requests.
At last, exasperated, Sue gave Jack an ultimatum,
"It's either me or bees that go - I tell you, Jack, I hate 'em!
"They've followed me about the house, they've fallen in the stew;
They've interrupted all this week the things I've gone to do.
I won't be home till evening, Jack; I'm off to town today,
If there are bees when I get back, I'll leave you straight away!"
These words he heard caused Jack to shake, he knew his wife was serious,
For this was no benign request, but a command imperious!
Not wishing for his wife to leave, he answered Susan's warning,
"I'll see the wretched swarm of bees is all removed this morning!"
When Susan left, Jack called his mate, "I've got a job to do;
And I'm not sure I'll get it done without some help from you."
Steve came around to help his friend, but first they had a drink,
And then he said, "It's easiest to smoke them out, I think."
They lit some old and oily rags and put them in the vent.
The acrid smoke stirred up the bees, but few, if any, went!
So Jack and Steve went to the shed to have a further think,
And, since the day was pretty warm, they had another drink!
It took a drink, or maybe three, before ideas struck.
"I know," said Steve. "We'll use the hose, they'll drown with any luck."
But all they did was flood the floor, and stain the kitchen wall;
They didn't drown a single bee, not a single bee at all.
Back to the shed and a drink again; then other schemes they tried:
But the bees stayed put within the walls, and not one insect died.
At last Jack thought of a clever plan, to remove the window frame...
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